Sunday Morning...

I've never been one to implicate that any problems or short-comings in my life are because of the fact that my father walked out on me and my mom when I was just 2 years old. My mom...is a battleaxe to say the least and can be overbearing (that's putting it nicely) but my pop was her husband, for better or for worse and he just left us.

I think this has alot to do with my issues with men. I've never known love from a man that wasn't sexual. No man has ever called me beautiful and (I've felt) actually met it. I'm ok with being sexy. I have a swag that's undeniable but I can't help but to wonder what my life would be like had my pop stayed around. I think I would've been more selective in my choices of men in my life. That I wouldn't cling to the temporary satisfaction that comes with one night stands. I would want better and would not have clamoured for that type of satisfaction. At one point, I couldn't sleep without it, needed to climax just to go to sleep and masturbation wasn't cutting it. I became very aggressive when it came to sex and wasn't afraid to say what I wanted. If my dad stuck around would I have lost that? Hard to tell a man what I'd do to him knowing I had t kiss my pop with that mouth. I'm over my father leaving but because I'm almost thirty I feel like I need to address this issue in order to move into another stage in my life. I want to be married and give my daughter siblings and have the whole American Dream but I think, up until now, this has hindered me. I wouldn't admit this to myself or anyone else. Now that I recognize the problem, I can deal with it and move forward.

Would I have been more focused in college, smarter with my money and possibly a better person? Would I have lost my independence and been 'daddy's girl'? My pop was so proud of me when I went to college and I didn't recognize that until after he died. I do him a disservice b/c I don't know how long it's been since his passing. But the pain that comes, even as I remember his death is wrenching. It's the type of pain that your subconscious forgets to spare you the remembrance. I remember my dad, the last time I saw him he gave me money for school, called me 'Spunky' and went on his way. I get my hustling attitude from him. We're both very secretive and don't like to have to answer alot of questions. He lives in me but if you ask me how long it's been since he's died, I have no idea. I try to live my life as if he was still around, try to make him proud of me everyday. I know he's smiling down on me but I'm selfish and want him here completely forgetting that between the ages of 2 and 11 he wasn't around at all. We were getting close before he passed and it just seems like things were cut short. Never told him I loved him but I hope he knew. Because of my pop's passing, I don't keep my feelings in anymore because we aren't promised another day. I regret so many things I did or didn't do with my pop and I feel like such a bad person because of it.

Settling is not for me. In some situations, people have to settle but I'm not there yet and don't have plans to EVER put myself in that situation. I know who I want to be with, praying to GOD that he's the one for me. He's not perfect, but in my eyes he is and the woman that I am for him is stupendous. My BD would've been a settlement and I can't believe I stuck around that long just because I wanted to be married. I'll admit to my wrongdoings in that relationship but they were NO WHERE CLOSE to his infidelities and lying ass ways. I could've settled and been unhappily married but GOD stepped in (all praises to YOU for that good look, seriously) and rewrote the script. Even though he left me a statistic I'm a better woman because of it and know exactly the woman I need to be for my future husband. I don't expect to have the perfect marriage but I will do everything to make sure my marriage is successful. Will never go to bed angry, keep a clean house, kids on the up-and-up, burn pots like Emeril (maybe just Racheal Ray) and loose my gag reflex on a nightly basis if need be. With all those qualities on a resume, who could pass that up (lol). But right now I'm chasing paper and trying to survive in this economy so this marriage want has been put on the backburner for the time being. But I know my time will come soon.

Felt good to get this off my chest finally. If it's scrambled it's because I was just typing without thinking about structure.....

Thoughts of the day....

10/25/08

Kimora Lee is a fab chick and the fact that she's not afraid to show she has flaws (wth is up with her neck and she constantly talks about eating) makes me LOVE her. She's a tall chick, not scared to say that she's not a 2 and gives her kids the business on national television. Two snaps for this chick.
*side eye note: why does her highschool friend bear a striking resemblance to her personal assistant AND why is she taking fashion advice from Andre Tangy Talley and his open toe Aladdin slippers?

Rainy days are made for staying in bed, making love, and watching ANYTHING On Demand.

Go PHILS! Rained out or not, let them know PHILLY IS IN THE BUILDING!

When did it stop being ok to go out when you're in a relationship? My homey told me today that he can't go out b/c he's not looking for a girl? WTF? But then again, they're awfully young so maybe they don't understand the importance of 'alone' time. Wow, it makes me wonder if I was that way at 25.

It is sad when people you know, become people you knew... And when you can walk right past someone that at one part in your life was a big part of your life... And how you used to be able to talk to them for hours about the little nothings in life... and now you can barely look at them... ...and all your left with is that aching feeling in your soul...

'I gave my fat clothes to my fat friends'....really BowFlex? Can a statement get any more offending?

Shout out to The Style network for a show like 'Ruby' that shows the world how obesity is an epidemic and how society treats these people is vulgar and cruel. Just because you weigh 400+lbs does not mean you're a walking joke.

You can be fierce at any age and any style, it's all how you work it. Other thick girls check my fresh daily.

No one on the corner has swagger like me.

Cheers to all the twenty-something girls about to enter the valley of the thirty-something women. Anxiously awaiting the crossing over ceremony.

Any word from the love of my life instantly brightens my day. Damn shame the way that man puts a smile on my face.

VH1's 'I Love The...' series are the best thing to happen to television in awhile.

What happened the The World Series of Pop Culture on VH1? Let's get rid of 'I Love Money' and 'Real Change at Love' and put those funds towards good, quality television programming for a change.

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. - thanks MWBeezy

There is something to be said for loving your job. Every morning I wake up, I can't WAIT to go to work. I used to envy what I've become and I wish this blessing to all those that are close to me.

Hard to pay attention when you don't care and/or have lost interest.

Is Puffy mad b/c he wasn't invited to be on T.I.'s 'Swagga Like Us'?

Wake up bitches, it's Bey Season. Word on the block is one of the dancers in 'Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)' is a tranny. Get it Bey, keeping the kids employed.

Ladies, there is truth to the old saying 'what you don't do another woman will'. If your dude is not fucking you, bet money he's fucking someone else. Better yet, I can guarantee it. Jerking off is a temporary fix but that shit gets tired after awhile. I'm not saying be a complete whore (hell you gotta save something for the wedding night) but.....to shut it down completely, is not a good idea. Yes he loves you but love and sex don't always go hand and hand. Be wise....

Sometimes it is in your best interest to take a step back and assess (re-assess) the situation before making a decision. Fast thinking doesn't always ensure the correct decision will be reached.

Top Ten

10/20/08

Jehovah witnesses aren't 'allowed' to vote? Since when does religion influence politics? And we all know most witnesses are black.....*side eye

Why do dudes like chicks that watch porn? Is this a rare delicacy?

Who else REALLY wants to see that movie Role Models? 'Let's dance Ben Affleck'.....

White dudes know what's up, they know they weren't met to go at it alone. They go to college, find the right girl, marry her and build with her. Black men constantly chase paper, neglect and play sistas, build themselves up with education and wealth until the only thing left is for them to marry a white girl. And they get ugly white girls too.....wtf?

Why can't my baby father be a sucka instead of the asshole that he is?

Smart women vote for Barack. Nuff said.

Why is CraigsList the best place for jumpoffs, electronics and furniture?

Why is my daughter still up?

Early Sunday Morning...

I was up at 845am, my first thoughts of the day where on HIMM. Can't shake it. Making love on a Sunday morning is devine, one of the greatest fantasies by far. My hormones are racing and I cannont shake these thoughts. I have so much to do today and hopefully my being preoccupied will curb these thoughts. I know he's not thinking about me and all I want to do is throw caution to the wind, go all out guns blazin and profess my love. But that's already happened and we're in the same place. I called this morning because....I just couldn't take it anymore. Left a nice message and immediately turned my phone off. I'm ashamed. I'm such an intelligent woman, why am I such a fool for love?

My words for him today:

'I am glad at least in my life I found someone
That may not be here forever to see me through,
But I found strength in you,
only pray that I have shown you a brighter day,
Because thats all that I am living for, you see,
Dont worry what happens to me.

Cause in my mind, you will stay here always,
In love, you and i, you and i, you and i, you and i
In my mind we can conquer the world
In love, you and i, you and i, you and i.'

- Stevie Wonder 'You and I'

That's me....on a Sunday morning....10 am....quoting Stevie Wonder lyrics for this dude.....I got it bad.

Retract....

I need to retract my earlier post ('Why Is It That' 10/18/08)...or at least alter it.


The love of my life has the biggest dick I've ever had (proud to say I take ALL of his 11"), he should be in porn and he puts in WERK. Wall climbing, panting, name screaming, dehydrating, shit talking, muscle pulling, toe curling werk. Last time, he was doing push ups in the pussy...my gwad. So it's not just dudes with little dicks, it's just lazy dudes.....

What A Girl Wants.....

1) A gentleman who opens the door for her.

2) The valet taken care of without asking.

3) Help with her coat.

4) You to make sure she's inside before you drive away.

5) Flowers.

Why Is It That...

...dudes with the smallest dicks put in the most work. Back breaking, wall climbing, knees-to-your-shoulders type work. I'm talking legs spread in a 'V', mouth on your clit, chin in your anus while he hums the Star Spangled Banner work. The kind of work you only tell your girls about when you're drunk enough. Why can't your main dude put in as much w0rk as your jumpoff? I ponder....

Do You Know What Today Is?

Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) Beyoncé Music Video MTV

It's officially Bey Day, better yet it's Bey Season. GET IT BITCH, GET IT. Let them know Bey, BSpears got nothing on you. Just because she nekkid in her tired ass video doesn't mean she holds a candle to my girl Bey. Feeling this beat, feeling the fossie-ness of it all. FIERCE AND FEROUCHE. She made this one for the kids (snap in a circle 3 times). The abstract, black and white, pop-lock-and-drop-it-ness of the entire vid makes you wanna practice in the mirror for your dude. Not exactly feeling the lyrics b/c I'm not sure what a ring as to do with backing it up on a random club dude but if it's a BillBoard Top Ten GET IT BEY. I've seen the track list from the upcoming CD 'I Am' and Bey is embracing her alter ego quite nicely and turning it into a marketing scheme. Who needs therapy when you can pop your hips in 4" stilettos? Looking forward to the album Bey.

*was having problems posting the vid directly to the site, please click the link to see the video in its entirety.

Glam God my ass...

WE DON'T BELIEVE YOU VIVICA, YOU NEED MORE PEOPLE....

What the fuck is this bafoonery on VH1, Glam God? Are you kidding me. For the finally, they get to style HER? VFox new alterego is TiTi Banks (bka Tyra Banks). All about them huh? Wow, I say. It's late and a bitch got a meeting at 8am I gotta get some rest but I WILL speak on this tomorrow night.

All That I Can Say....

I got a job and it's the job I've been waiting for. It's a job I can be proud of. And while I'm excited, I am not allowing myself to feel it 100% because I think I lost the love of my life. This is not fair to me so I need to let go and let GOD….Bible study (and my BFFs) brought me to this conclusion today:

Worry is, and will always be, a fatal disease of the Heart, for it's the beginning signals the end of faith. Worry intrudes on God's compassionate ability to provide. When we allow our problems to overshadow God's promises, we unknowingly, doom ourselves to defeat that was never part of God's eternal plansRelease the regrets of yesterday, refuse the fears of tomorrow and receive instead, the peace of today. WORRYING DOESN'T SOLVE ANYTHING, INSTEAD IT HURTS EVERYTHING. Simply let go and let GOD be GOD. Live this and be eternally blessed.

Love my BFFs for this one. This came right on time a sista needed the reassurance. I love him, always will. Put myself out on front street all crazy and am awaiting the outcome. If I come out on top, that's wassup. If not, I'll have to move on. I'm tired of being lonely, tired of doing it all myself and having no one but me. A girl can only take so much. I know the timetable is not mine to choose but…I'm a pessimist and ridiculously impatient, two virtues that probably have worked against me more then with me. If it was met to be, GOD will make it so. I'm not responsible for his soul until it directly effects me but due to my feelings for him, I'm still hurt to know he's sticking his face between other female's legs. That's natural. It's how I deal with it, that sets me apart and will make me a stronger/better woman. So I'm working on that as we speak but had to blog about it to get it off my chest.

Letting go…..and letting GOD in 5…..4…..3…..2…..1……

Devotion

Moses saw the oppression of his people and felt certain that he was the one to deliver them, and in the righteous indignation of his own spirit he started to right their wrongs. After he launched his first strike for God and for what was right, God allowed Moses to be driven into empty discouragement, sending him into the desert to feed sheep for forty years. At the end of that time, God appeared to Moses and said to him, " ’. . . bring My people . . . out of Egypt.’ But Moses said to God, ’Who am I that I should go

We may have the vision of God and a very clear understanding of what God wants, and yet when we start to do it, there comes to us something equivalent to Moses’ forty years in the wilderness. It’s as if God had ignored the entire thing, and when we are thoroughly discouraged, God comes back and revives His call to us.

We are focused on the right individual perspective of things; we have the vision and can say, "I know this is what God wants me to do." But we have not yet learned to get into God’s stride. If you are going through a time of discouragement, there is a time of great personal growth ahead.

40 years of self improvement? Seriously? People back in the day were devoted. Hope GOD knows what year it is cause 40 years is not gonna cut it. I don't have that kinda time so we're going to have to speed it up a little bit :) Like I said, anxious to see where the cards fall.

Slowly Surely

Slowly surely, I walk away from that old desperate and dazed love caught up in the maze of love the crazy craze of love thought it was good thought it was real thought it was but it wasn't love I just don't know Where i should go So Slowly surely I walk away from self-serving undeserving constantly hurting me love deserting me love you said, I said, we said but Slowly surely I walk away from confusing love misusing love abusing love this can't be

- Jill Scott 'Slowly, Surely' Who Is Jill Scott? Words & Sounds Vol. 1

Jill is the realest bitch EVER and once again, she came along at the right time. I was reminising about this weekend and letting it take over me at work when the magical Zune came through once again with this. I pray for the hurt and pain to subside in my heart and for nothing to be affected but my personal growth in this. Anxious to see what the outcome will be but will make sure I'm occupied in the meantime. I'm not ashamed of what I've revealed, but I'm scared of the outcome and am constantly second guessing my decision to even put myself on front street like I did. But I'm grown, I did it, take responsibility for it....will sit back and anxiously see what happens....

Lessons Learned

When you fall in love, especially unconditional love, it's the fear of the unknown and the hope of what is to come that keeps you constantly chasing that feeling. But once ignorance is removed from the equation and reality sets in, the pain is much harder to deal with.

I don't want to be alone anymore, I want to share my life with someone.
Applications are being accepted and interviews will begin next week. Praying that the right man comes my way...

Dontchathink....

...that SNL needs to be taken off the air? It's not even funny anymore it's just...whack. When Amy Pohler comes back from maternity leave, move her over the 30 Rock where she can showcase her talent and hilariousness (Baby Mama, that's ALL I have to say) and lets call it a wrap for SNL shall we. It's really.....sad. Like watching your drunk uncle try to recite....hell anything. I just finished watching the Weekend Update from Thursday with my mouth open the entire time, I didn't laugh once. Hall and Oates? And WTF was the fat black dude from Nickelodeon screaming 'Fix It' all about? SNL....used to be such a great show. Steve Martin, Chris Farley (RIP), Eddie Murphy. Now, omg it's so so horrible.

BUT HOW FUCIN FUNNY IS 30 Rock! I know I'm not the only one looking forward to not only the season premiere but the big O is making a guest appearance! Wow, Oprah? There are so many things that can be said but just her name alone is all the explanation you need. Has O been on SNL? No so let's just call it a wrap SNL and bow out gracefully.

Things I've learned...

MAC is the only foundation that you can sleep in and not have to worry about breakouts....it better be as much as I spend on it....

And Neutrogena Makeup Removing Cleansing Cloths ($7 at your local Target) are the must have neccessity of ANY season.

Thoughts of the day....

1) Jail is no joke. If that's what's rap is glamorizing then now I totally understand parent's concern.

2) It feels great to love someone righteously. I can tell my children and my grandchildren that I have experienced unconditional love and the perils of heartbreak that are sure to follow when you love that hard and it's not reciprocated.

3) Seed = Me(10)........ and I love it.

4) New Jersey is a hustling state and it constantly has it's hand in my pocket. I'm not one to keep getting hustled, so I need to move.

5) I hate working for a living and still not having enough to get through the week.

6) SAP sucks and I wish someone would stand up and say that shit and stop giving them BILLIONS of dollars

7) If the heads of AIG were black, just how far would the gobment go to get them 'golden parachutes' back?

8) Jill Scott comes along at just the right time no matter where I am, what I'm doing.

9) The Zune is the most underrated device out there. Wireless syncing people, that's all I have to say.

10) Did we all witness the fall of the McCain campaign in last night's debate?

11) You find out who your true friends are (and your true friend's baby dad) when you're in the most trouble. Shout out to Kelly, her baby dad, Malc Breezy and my cousin (big brother) James for looking a sister out when she was down and out today.

12) GOD teaches the most important lessons through experience, and I've learned ALOT.

13) You'd think after all I've been through, I'd be a more responsible person and make better decisions.

14) I'm not as grown as I portray myself to be.

15) 2009: The Year ALL My Debt Disappears - by any means necessary.

Last Night The DJ Saved My Life?.....not at all

I actually stayed up for that bullshit. If that wasn't the WHACKEST shows ever.....I don't know what was. First of all, Cypress Hill? Foreal? My homey said they brought the Latino vibe to Hip Hop. To me it sounded like...they brought rock to hip hop. When I think Latinos in Hip Hop, I think Big Pun and Fat Joe not Cypress Hill. I mean I was digging 'Insane In The Membrane' but beyond that...nope wasn't feeling it.

Did anyone other then me notice how dead the crowd was when Too Short was up there? Ok nuff said. I'm not taking anything from him but....I wasn't digging his music like that. Snoop and Dre? OH HELL YEAH but dis nigga Too Short, naw sorry dude wasn't feeling you like that.

Slick Rick has an eye patch for every outfit huh? I never knew that, guess your girl was too young. But he was on it last night. Pink, bling, neon green. Wow.......

Naughty By Nature....is getting fat and old but I want a Naughty By Nature shirt though. On the real, I'd rock that HARD. But did anyone else notice Trench rub his beater on his dick and throw it at some girls in the crowd? Wow Trench you're relly reliving your golden days huh? You didn't have that many hits from the door so calm down my friend. And how many people were in this dudes crew? Naughty came out and so did....like 98 other people. WTF?? Seriously you still roll with that many people.

The best performance of the night was the tribute to Issac Hayes. ROOTS CREW REPRESENTING! I'm a Questlove groupie so I'm bias but out of everything on that whack ass show, they were my highlight. Wait let me rephrase, the tribute was the best portion of the show.

Ok, so the preformers. Fab and Juelz didn't know the words to the songs. Wow dudes, freshen up on it before you come out. Not sure what the meaning of Estelle was and/or Eve but they looked nice. Again Too Short was lacking as was Cypress Hill. But as it is well known, this entire thing is put together by Fab 5 Freddy (the dude from YO! MTV Raps when MTV was more music videos then reality TV). So I think it's whomever is greasing his pockets gets honored. That's the only explaination for this whack ass show. See that's my point is there a ballot that goes out and average people vote or is it all Fab 5? Something just doesn't smell right with that. Where's Heavy D? Kid n Play? Don't front them House Party movies did good things for hip hop. Leaders of the New School? What they need to do is Jay and Nas. That's the show right there WHAT, The Roc and The Firm?!?!

The best Hip Hop Honors: 2005 (Nelly and Ciara 'Doin It' and if you don't agree that Big Daddy Kane put on the best show that night, something is wrong with you) and 2007 (Nelly's swexy ass doing the whop to The Freaks Come Out At Night and ALL of the Missy tributes). 2007 with Missy.....what that chick has done for hip hop is undescribable on the real. Her beats, her colabs are just sick. That was a good pick right there! 2005 Big Daddy Kane did a split!! WHAT! I need that on DVD.

The whackness that hit the airwaves Monday night (people who love hip hop also have jobs VH1 so lets get it together as far as the timeframe goes) was disappointing. The bar as been set and they need to come harder and stronger. This half ass nut job.....was not what I was hoping for.

Maybe VH1 should stop spending new programming funds on shows like 'I Love Money' and that retarded I need love show with Chance and the bucktooth retard and bring back the Pop Culture Trivia show. THAT is truly missed. Or up the budget for Hip Hop Honors.....New York does not need another reality show and neither does Flavor Flav. No more of this bafoonery please. Stop funding that bullshit and lets get back to entertainment.......

Wiping Some Dirt Off My Shoulder

Office politics are a bitch. I was recently a victim of that bullshit. Back in July, I worked for Day & Zimmerman, a corporate conglomerate located in Center City Philadelphia. We (the accounts receivable) department was informed that the department was being dissolved and the responsibilities were being reissued to all field offices. Cool. The notice they gave was approximately 2 weeks. HR read us our standard rights, yadda yadda, there were other positions opening but there were 15 people in HR and only 10 positions reopened. This is where things began to get.....shady.

Lets take management for instance. My supervisor (we'll call him Opie) is a bitch. He got his job because he used to work for CDI. The director of AR (we'll call him Brolly) did also and brought Opie in on some slick okey doke, old boy club bullshit. Previously to Opie coming to DayZim, the department should've been questioned in the first place because retention was at an all time low and the amount of unapplied cash was ridiculous. Plus the old bitties (combined these broads had like 50 yrs with the company) did what they pleased. But those factors were never looked at. DayZim had (still has) a problem w/minority retention. Previously to Opie being brought on, there was an african american female who just walked off the job due to lack of structure (aka management having no backbone). Brolly slid in the AR Manager's (we'll call her Ciely, like off Color Purple) ear and plugged in Opie and poof! this dude is sprinkling his fuck up dust all over the place. So began the demise of Accounts Receivable......

Ciely has no backbone, she is a yes man. Her management skills are mediocre at best, she doesn't stand up and fight for herself or for her department. Together, her and Opie manage to isolate you, constantly insult your intelligence until you just can't take it anymore. From what I was met to understand, previous to me joining the fucked up fam, a young lady was there for about 5 months and couldn't take the lack of training but the constant put downs for not being trained on policies and procedures. She not only walked off the job, but sent a descriptive email to HR explaining exactly why she was leaving and pointing out the holes in AR that needed to be filled, naming Opie and Ciely repeatedly. Nothing was done. HR interviewed the entire department but not changes were made. When I came to DayZim my training was.....whack for lack of a better word. The young lady they assigned to train had her own work to do, didn't make time to train and/or ensure that our training was complete. And when these issues were brought to Opie, it wasn't given any type of chance.

Instead of dissolving the department, why wasn't it reorganized? Why wasn't management given an overhaul? Opie was given the only manager position assigned while 4 other people where let go including me. I was told that I wasn't even considered for another position b/c of the write ups in my file (which were not signed by me and there were rebuttals to these complaints also) but yet....Opie has been named repeatedly and this dude stayed? Office politics foreal? Bogus. White people have been doing this shit for years but it's never been my concern until I got caught up.

It's cool DayZim obviously wasn't the place for me. I miss my peoples there and all but...I had to get this off my chest. The whole company is a fuck up as far as I'm concerned from the top level execs to the mailroom clerks. Before you even step foot in Day & Zimmerman do your research. The smart ones get out early, especially if you're a minority. They offer no maternity leave (fucked up) and work you to the bone for just enough pay to make it hard for you to go elsewhere. Yes there are perks (the boxes in ALL of the major Philadelphia Stadiums) but it's first come first serve and not on any type of seniority basis. They work you to death, only point out your flaws continuously while ignoring any good work you've produced. Their internship program is mediocre at best. It's all about who you know and whether or not you have a gag reflex that will ensure your careerpath at DayZim. Don't even get me started on Accounts Payable and how that's run like a Soprano episode. My girl Counts has infiltrated and she's cool peeps but, idk she better watch her back.

I hope this reaches someone, anyone who is a minority and was considering DayZim as a potential place of employment. Get at me if you want more specific information but if you're offered a gig, politely refuse. The company looks wonderful from the outside but please trust it's hell once you're on the inside....

Anger Management

I think I should enroll myself in some anger management program. I really have a severe hatred for my baby father and this has nothing to do with anything between him and I, it's all about the seed. Dis nigga does nothing for her but play weekend daddy and I'm supposed to clap like a fucking seal and give dis nigga props. Oh hell to the no....that's not happening.

Dis nigga calls here demanding information about the seed which is cool but the level of disrespect from this nigga is uncanny. I take care of his seed all by myself with absolutely no help and I get talked to like I'm a jumpoff, like I'm some chick from the streets. He's telling me information is mandatory and what he will and will not tolerate? Who the fuck are you dude? Nobody as far as I'm concerned. I'm so angry I'm shaking at this point...I can't even get this post together to just type things that will stand in court....

To all the baby moms in the world, stand up and pray for your girl cause I'm about to go off up in this piece.....