I love you.
You hurt me.
I can't stop thinking about you
Why can't you see how beautiful our love would've been? Why didn't you give us more of a chance? Why do you let your vanity get in the way? Because my waist isn't a 6 means I'm not worthy of your love? Do you have ANY IDEA how hard that hurts? I hate how much I love(d) you. I hate that I allowed you to get so close, that I allowed myself to feel so deeply for you. I feel like such a fool because all this time, you thought I was ugly and fat. I want to make you understand my hurt, my pain and the sorrow that fill these pages. I want you to see the tears and watch my cry uncontrollably so you can see how deep your words cut. As you run through your pretty faces, remember one thing: I loved you and I would've been your EVERYTHING. We are equally yoked WHY THE HELL CAN"T YOU SEE THIS??? Oh right b/c I'm not petite and short. I'm smart enough to know that what I want is not always necessarily good for me, why aren't you? All those book smarts and your common sense meter is empty. I can't pray for you, I can't even speak your name b/c it cuts like a knife. You were an inhabitant of my heart, born to reside in me. I'd give you beautiful babies and a wonderful life but....alas YOU digress. My anger has to reside in order for me to move on so with this, it does. I will always love you....it's the ones that you love the hardest/deepest that hurt you the most. I always knew it would come down to this at some point. My heart took ova....started controlling EVERYTHING and I got caught up.....convinced myself that I would have you....that you were my destiny....and now look at me. It's cool though, I fell off my game a little bit...buy my Phoenix is emerging....I wish you nothing but everything your heart desires.
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