We should battle through our moods, feelings, and emotions into absolute devotion to the Lord Jesus. We must break out of our own little world of experience into abandoned devotion to Him. Think who the New Testament says Jesus Christ is, and then think of the despicable meagerness of the miserable faith we exhibit by saying, "I haven’t had this experience or that experience"! Think what faith in Jesus Christ claims and provides— He can present us faultless before the throne of God, inexpressibly pure, absolutely righteous, and profoundly justified. Stand in absolute adoring faith "in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God— and righteousness and sanctification and redemption . . ." ( 1 Corinthians 1:30 ). How dare we talk of making a sacrifice for the Son of God! We are saved from hell and total destruction, and then we talk about making sacrifices!
It is because of our trusting in experience that we see the steadfast impatience of the Holy Spirit against unbelief. All of our fears are sinful, and we create our own fears by refusing to nourish ourselves in our faith. How can anyone who is identified with Jesus Christ suffer from doubt or fear! Our lives should be an absolute hymn of praise resulting from perfect, irrepressible, triumphant belief.
I need this today. I'm battling through my emotions. I'm hurting on the inside because I haven't found love yet. I've loved someone and yes, I've been in love but in my adult life, I haven't found love. I constantly pick myself apart to find out what I'm doing wrong. I starve myself in order to loose weight, I keep my hair up, face and trilogy waxed. I maintain myself thoroughly and still nothing. So I'm finished with my search. I know people say 'give it to GOD' but that is very difficult for me to do. I am so in control of my career, my home and most other aspects of my life then love. I'm depressed because I haven't found love in my timeframe while my faith has taught me that it's not my timeframe that matters. I've veered away from my faither recently, questioned it actually because I didn't feel like it was getting me anywhere. I know I should find jay in the little things but the little things become redundant and....fall to the wayside. I begin to take them for granted quickly. There is so much sadness and strife that I'm tired of writing about it, I just want to feel better, I want to be happy for a change. I want to feel beautiful on the inside and out. I want what seems to be unattainable, like winning the lottery. I need to give it all to GOD but I have no idea how to do that and/or where to start. I'm tired of being depressed, I just want to be ok, have a good disposition and stop constantly stressing over money and love and things that I can't control evidently. I've falling off reading devotion everyday. I know I need GOD but....I'm not sure how to live my life that way. I stay in prayer but it doesn't seem to be working. I'm just...so confused I wish the answers lied somewhere and were easy enough to read and understand or just be able to wake up and have the knowledge. But it doesn't seem to be that simple. I feel that I am at a crossroads in my life and the next decision I make could determine a positive or negative change in the long run. I feel like it's a race against the clock and I'm loosing. Everyday......
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